Why Is This Literature?
This advertisement is intrinsically Horvathian – beautiful in its paradigmatic “Demaskierung des Bewusstseins” and its display of communicative “Dummheit” (= Horvathian key words).
She starts by presenting a grotesquely wrong self-image (“intelligent”, “good sense of humor”, “dream woman”). Then she says she never answers ads. But she expects men to be stupid enough to do just that.
The guy has to be intelligent too, in fact “very intelligent”. But she herself can’t even finish a sentence properly (“Also – ich möchte [...] Tiere/Natur”), and within that totally ungrammatical sentence she makes various additional mistakes, first speaking of the dream guy in the third person, then addressing him directly. Before that she puts the exclamation mark in the wrong place, and the proverbial expression itself is all wrong too. (It should be: “Wer zu spät kommt, den bestraft das Leben”.)
An even more beautiful part is her detailed wish list with respect to the guy. He must be a paragon of virtue, an unflawed diamond of the sort that may exist in some remote galactic nebula but certainly not on our planet. A “50jähriges Stück Scheisse” (“Geschichten aus dem Wiener Wald”) wants perfection – and has no idea of her worth.
And: The guy should have no hormones (they only cause problems) – but he should be able to get it up all the same. For her!
But here lies the fucking problem! Her demanding, insulting tone, her intolerance, her verbose egomania and her obvious contempt for men will castrate any guy, even the saintliest of saints.

The last paragraph, however, tops it all. This is too good to be true: She knows exactly what the guy wants to do in the evening! She knows exactly what the holidays will look like. She knows exactly what genre of music he’ll like.
But if the poor wretch opens his mouth (“kein Schwätzer!”) and says something unexpected or if he needs sympathy, he is no longer popular.
In other words: This delusional dumbo will never ever see a dick.
A guy would have to be insane to answer that ad. He would have to be a cretin. A retard. A vegetable.